"God has given me a certain number of things to do. I'm so far behind now... I'll never die!"Yes, that is how I feel at times. Like it will never happen. Or will it?
As I was thinking this just the other day, I feel God gave me a clear picture of what was going on. He showed me what I was doing to always feel like I was behind. You see, at the beginning of the year, I felt that God was leading me to 'throw off' everything that hinders. Books, music, tv, laziness, whatever it was that was taking the place of spending time with him. I have an easy time reading books of other peoples' relationships with God. But I have a hard time developing one of my own. I really felt led to put God first and above all. To read the Word... not someone else's interpretation of it.
So here is the picture God showed me:
When my kids were younger, quite a bit younger, we walked everywhere we went. We walked to school, to the park, and even to buy groceries. What a time we had carrying things back. Three kids kindergarten and younger, and one in the stroller, and several bags of groceries to navigate through the desert, the traffic and then home.
I can still remember trying to push the stroller through the desert so we could avoid heavy traffic. It was a shorter distance, but it took longer to get home. As we would pass large rocks, small rocks, or even things people had abandoned there, it would catch one of the kids' attention. It was a distraction.
My kids would pick up rocks and run up to me excited to show their new 'treasure'. "Look at this one Mommy! It sparkles!" Or they would call to me so I could see them on top of a large rock. "I'm as tall as you, Mom!" So, while the rest of us were still headed home, one of the kids would stop and be lagging behind. I would have to turn around and tell them to "Catch up!" The weight of the rocks they were collecting, and the energy used to climb on whatever they saw, was wearing them down. Were they being bad? No. Just curious kids... enjoying life. But it was getting harder for them to 'catch up.'
This is what we do in our 'adult' life. Well... maybe we don't pick up rocks anymore. But we pick up plenty of other things. In the same way that walking home was the destination given to my kids by me, our Heavenly Father gives each of us a destination as well. We are called to certain things... but not EVERYTHING.
Seems like every time - ok, lots of times - that I feel led in a certain direction, I suddenly fall 'behind'. I seem to pick up lots of little 'rocks' along the way. No... nothing bad. But even good things can be a distraction and weigh us down. I will have a clear direction and I just get looking at the 'sparkles'. You know... doing this is a good thing, reading that book would be helpful, or maybe I should learn how to _____. All good things. Just not always the main thing.
I wish I could learn to keep my eyes straight ahead, focused on my destination... instead of wearing myself out trying to carry all the little 'rocks' that God never told me to pick up in the first place.
Just some of my thoughts...
Mary Ann :)