I can't believe how fast this summer is flying by. Day after day seems to be filled with activities. Not exactly the ones that I need to be doing... like laundry, vacuuming, bill paying... no, I have become the 'entertainment director' of some sorts. It's not a bad job, I enjoy hanging out with the kids. Playing games, going to a movie or going for a walk is just fine with me. I've even had time to read! (The reason for so many book reviews on my blog!) I just can't help feeling guilty for not doing the housework.
No... I take that back. Maybe it's a different kind of guilt. It's when I look around the house or go to make dinner and see we don't have anything to make, that I feel guilty for NOT feeling guilty. Should I feel guilty? I mean.... everyone in my house is over 18 except for Baby Boy (11), and Baby Girl (7). And they are pretty self-sufficient. There really isn't anyone who needs me to do much for them.
We do hit up the dollar menus more than I'd like, but it's nice to be out of the house and not 'tied' to it. I use to be on top of everything... the bills, the shopping, the laundry. I could tell you where anything was in the house. Now, it's anyone's guess. I sometimes wish I could 'do it all' like I used to. But it just doesn't feel the same. It was a full-time job then. With overtime! 24/7. I enjoyed it. It's what I did... what I had to do. I don't want to do that anymore. I enjoy spending my time with the people in my life rather than just taking care of the 'things' and 'to do's'.
Don't get me wrong. I do take care of the house and family. I feed the kids and do the laundry... blah, blah, blah. Just not as detailed or punctual... and not nearly as organized as I used to. But now we have time to do other things. Even relaxing is new to me. I'm beginning to enjoy it! Although, I do realize I need to have balance in my life. I used to live by lists that had to be completed each day. I wanted a clean and organized home. I realize now that I just didn't need it to be perfect. Now I'm on the flip-side. I want to enjoy life... but I don't want to be lazy or have no purpose or motivation.
For now, I'll just enjoy the summer while my kids are still young enough to want to hang out with me. My kids are going up fast and they won't always be kids, but my 'things' and 'to-do's'... they aren't going anywhere. Believe me... I've tried to catch up on them for years and they're still here... 'to-do'.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
~Psalm 51:10
Do you know what my heart looks like on the inside?
It's beaten, tattered, torn.
It's worn out, used up...
Neglected.
It's been crushed, stepped on.
It's bruised from past hurts.
It's been betrayed, and it's betrayed in return.
It refuses to let anyone in for fear of injury.
It becomes defensive... quickly.
It harbors resentment.
Unforgiveness.
Bitterness, anger, jealousy.
It can be self-serving.
It's often disobedient.
Impatient. Rebellious.
It gets caught up in selfishness and greed.
Sometimes it doesn't want to give any more.
And sometimes... it just doesn't knowhow it can go on.
Not a pretty picture is it? Honestly... it's a mess! That's why my prayer is often...
"Lord, here's my heart. Take it, and make me new."
What more can I offer? He knows I come with dirty, empty hands. There is nothing I can do to 'sparkle' before my Lord. He knows this...He sees my heart. He knows ME. And yet He wants my heart anyway.
Why? Because HE can transformit!
There is so much to learn from King David in the Bible. He was called "a man after God's own heart"... yet he was as humanly flawed as the rest of us. And he KNEW IT! He didn't try to cover it up. He laid it all out before God, confessed it, repented, received forgiveness... and moved on with the Lord.
Listen to what David says in Psalm 51 (NIV):
1Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity. 10Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
You and I, like David, even though our hearts are full of sin... can come before the Lord and ask for mercy. He will restore us. He will wash us clean with the blood of Jesus.
We don't need to clean ourselves up before we come to God. We need to come to God to GET clean. We need to lay it all before Him, and allow Him to do the work in us. And He will. He is faithful!
Let your prayer be today... "Lord, here's my heart!"
Life is full of decisions, and every decision we make has an echo that affects our future.
On May 17th at 8:00 PM local time (9pm in the Maritimes), come be a part of the UNITEforLIFE webcast with Abby Johnson, a former abortion clinic director for Planned Parenthood. Join us for heartfelt discussions as Abby shares her long-held desire to help women in crisis, and the moment of pure awakening that led her to re-evaluate her life’s work.
Please go to Uniteforlifewebcast.org. Starting Friday, May 13, 2011 and continuing through Tuesday, May 17, 2011 (the day of the webcast) use this graphic as your profile image to show you’re support for the event with other pro-lifers on Facebook. Just right click on the image and choose “Save Picture as” and save the image to your computer. Then, on Facebook, select this image as your profile pic.
Just right-click on the image, choose "save picture as" and save to your computer. Then, on Facebook, select this image as your profile pic.
It only takes a little time to get involved and spread the word. Would you please pass this information along? And more than anything else... please pray for the event and all those attending.
Ready to move your life forward? Want to make a positive change by noon? Here is a step that guarantees positive results.
Stop blaming.
Certainly there are things on our life script we would not have put there. And blame is a mechanism to discharge pain and discomfort. However, whether I blamed my husband, parents, boss, or myself, blame kept me cemented in the same spot. Stuck.
Blame cripples only one person. Me. Freedom comes when I acknowledge people made choices. I made choices. Some choices made a Grand Canyon–sized impact on my life.
A friend that allows me to vent, is a gift. But camping there, the pain becomes my identity.
It happened.
So what?
Now what?
Checkpoint: Do you regularly offer excuses? If you show up late at a place and waste further time by blaming your lateness on the kids, the dog, or the traffic, you are playing the blame game. You are blaming someone or something for your situation.
The only person who believes your excuse is you. When you are late, it is apparent that you did not plan your time to arrive at least 15 minutes early in case you were delayed by life.
In the military, fifteen minutes early is on time. On time is late. Soldiers quickly learn that there are only four acceptable responses—yes, sir; no, sir; I don’t understand, sir; and no excuse, sir.
When I dropped making excuses, my days and relationships streamlined. Free from cumbersome excuses, my conversations improved. People are attracted to those who fully live life without excuses. That’s living full blast, full out.
- PeggySue Wells is a speaker and the author of a dozen books including Rediscovering Your Happily Ever After. Contact her at www.PeggySueWells.com.
This article is provided free of charge by the author through Kathy Carlton Willis Communications. You are welcome to place this article on your site or in your publication as long as 1) it’s used in its entirety, 2) the full bio is also used, and 3) you previously request permission through KCWC at russ@kathycarltonwillis.com. All other standard copyrights apply.
Yesterday, the day before Good Friday, I sat down to watch a documentary with my youngest son and daughter. It was called "The True Easter Story". It's part of a video DVD series from Focus On The Family called That The World May Know. The series is filmed in Israel and it's narrated by a great historian and Bible teacher, Ray Vander Laan. An excellent series if you want to know more about Bible times, traditions, culture, etc.
Anyway, almost from the beginning, my 7-year-old Baby Girl was asking a lot of questions. I told her to watch first and then we'd talk about it at the end. Well, I guess she got tired of waiting and began to write her questions down so she wouldn't forget. Here is one of her questions below...
In my Baby Girl's own words... "Why do we celebrate Easter like when we celebrate when Jesus has risen when we just hide Easter eggs and find them and also have Easter dinner cause we never talk or do anything about how Jesus has risen?"
This came as a surprise to me. I thought I was going to be the adult in the conversation. Instead it was my Baby Girl asking "Why do we have baskets?", "Why do we color eggs?", "Why is there a bunny?". And mostly she kept asking "Why don't we do anything to celebrate Jesus if that's what Easter is about?"
Imagine my surprise (again) when I couldn't think of anything to say! I told her we go to church to celebrate Jesus and that's why we have Easter dinner to celebrate with family. But as I began to think even more, I realized we do those things anyway. What DO we do to celebrate Jesus being risen from the dead?
She suggested that we read the real Easter story from the Bible each night until Sunday. I think that's a good idea. We will be sure to do that. We were following the Holy Week a little more closely this year, which kept the kids interested. And I will be sure to make a point of talking about Jesus and how He laid His life down for us... and took it up again.
My Baby Girl is ready to learn. She wants to know and she's paying close attention. Just tonight, shortly after dinner, she asked "Is is 3:00 yet mom?" I told her it was past... and she said... "Jesus died. He's on His way to the tomb." She has a sadness... knowing that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. And now she knows the sacrifice He made because He loves us. She knows! And now she will celebrate on Easter morning as she remembers that Jesus ROSE AGAIN! She won't be sad for long, because....
A couple of days ago, my son drove to the auto parts store to get a part for his new car. On his way home he stopped by 7-11 to get a soda.... he even called me to see if I wanted anything (of course I did!). Wasn't that nice? Anyway...
After he'd been home for a short while, he realized he didn't have his wallet and there was a big hole in his pocket. He searched the whole house, inside his car, in the front yard, the street... everywhere. It was nowhere to be found. Finally, he decided he should go back to 7-11 and check to see if someone turned it in. You can hope, right?
Nope. Not there. Not in the parking lot either.
It wasn't so much the money he had lost, but that his Health Card and TAM Card were in his wallet. He's starting a new job next week and wouldn't have time to get the cards replaced beforehand. Not to mention all the trouble that could arise from someone obtaining your Driver's License, Social Security #, and bank card.
Now, I was praying he would find his wallet. I prayed it was in some spot that was just overlooked and one of us would see it. Sometimes it helps to have a fresh pair of eyes looking with you.
Didn't happen. And we looked everywhere!
I felt so bad! I told him the first thing he should do is cancel his debit card. Can't buy anything if the card doesn't work.
So then I prayed... "Lord, convict the person who picked it up... touch their heart that they would return it to him and not keep it. Please Lord! And thank you! In Jesus' name, Amen."
Well, about 15 minutes later... as my son was upstairs, talking to the bank on his cell, someone knocks at the door. I told my daughter to see who it was. The neighbor kids had been knocking all morning. "Make sure you look out the window first!", I told her.
As soon as she said "I don't know who it is!", I knew it was the answer to prayer! I ran to the door and opened it to find a man I didn't know asking for my son. I excitedly yelled up the stairs for him to come down (realizing I was yelling in this poor man's face... I apologized.)
The man obviously knew I was curious (and excited) and held up my son's wallet for me to see. "Oh, my gosh!!! Yay!" I screamed. My son came down the stairs with a big smile and a look of great relief on his face. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" was all we could say. I told him he was a such a blessing and we gave him a small token of our appreciation. He said we didn't need to give him anything... but I wish we could have given more.
It's a wonderful thing to see God answer a prayer so precisely and so quickly. There is no doubt in my mind that God hears us and cares about the things that concern us... no matter how big or how small. He has proved it over and over again in my life! This is just the answer to one of many... and each is a blessing.
And I will NOT forget the man who returned my son's wallet! What an awesome thing to do. Not many people would go out of their way to do that. We live a few blocks away from where it was lost. He could have kept it, put it in the mail, or turned it in. Either way would have meant a lot of unnecessary trouble and concern for my son. I really appreciate what he did. It speaks well of his character. I pray God will bless this man.
I wish I would have opened the door and said "You have my son's wallet, don't you? I prayed God would send you here!" Now wouldn't that have been a great witness? I hope one day to have that kind of boldness.
Don't ever assume that your prayer is too big or too small for God. Have the boldness to bring all your requests before Him... and just see what He will do!
"You do not have, because you do not ask God"
(James 4:2b).
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church,
but such a small amount when you go shopping?
Isn't it strange... how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?
Isn't it strange... that you can't find a word to say when you're praying but.. you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?
Isn't it strange... how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel? Isn't it strange... how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games but... they do everything possible to sit in the last row at Church?
Isn't it strange... how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks in advance... so we can include it in our agenda, but we can make adjustments for other events at a moment's notice?
Isn't it strange... how difficult it is to learn a fact about God and share it with others; but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?
Isn't it strange... how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say but.... we question the words in the Bible?
Isn't it strange... how everyone wants a place in heaven but... they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?
Isn't it strange... how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away, but when we have messages to send about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?
IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?
This is from an email that my sister sent me. Not the picture... just the poem.
The truth of it made me stop and think... How would my behavior change and who could I reach with the Gospel if I put God first?
James 1:22 ~ "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."
When I woke up this morning, I thought my day would be spent at church... listening to Dallas Holm in concert, staying after so the kids could practice their song with the choir for the Palm Sunday performance next weekend, and then stopping for a late lunch on the way home. That's what I thought.
Instead, I sit here with my Baby Girl's head on my lap as she wiggles from pain and I hold her hair back as she vomits... again, and again, and again. She hasn't eaten all day, yet her stomach thinks there's still something in there. Believe me, there isn't. Sleep and rest just won't come for her today. Stupid flu!
It's been that kind of week in general. A week for expecting the unexpected. All the plans in my 'notebook' meant nothing when it came down to it.
Last Sunday, my Hubby twisted his ankle while playing catch with my son at the park. A simple turn, turned bad. His foot was swollen to at least twice it's normal size and he had this tennis-ball-sized bump sticking out from the side. It did get better after a couple of days and few shades of purple we hadn't seen before, and he still went to work. Thankfully, he was aided by a cane my oldest daughter, Little Lady, bought him as a 'gag' gift for $1 at a thrift store several years ago. Ironic? Yes... that was too funny! (oh... you had to be there.)
Then on Monday, I had taken my mom for her 4th reconstructive surgery for this darn skin cancer. Such a small-looking thing can cause so much trouble if not taken care of immediately. This was by far the worst. When they brought me back to sit with her in recovery, I have to admit I was shocked. Not shocked at the scars, stitches or even the blood... but shocked at the extent of it all. It looked as if they had made a jig-saw puzzle with her face. To see my mother looking so helpless and 'beat up' was a little more than I expected. I had to hold back the tears as I told her how well she did and that the surgery went just as planned. "What have I done?" was my first thought. Followed by "How can I hide this from her?" You know... when you think you did the right thing at first and then panic at the thought that you really messed up? Uh-huh.
This time, they gave her more drugs than usual, which I didn't like. But it worked out well because I couldn't get her pain medication from the pharmacy 'pending appoval' from her insurance which I'm pretty sure will never come. Thankfully, my mother has a high tolerance for pain and the worst part was over by the time the hospital drugs wore off. Since then, I've been giving her antibiotics every 6 hours, which is very hard to do by the 5th or 6th night. My brain no longer reacts to my alarm. I give her her pills late, but I do give them to her, and I'm just cranky all day long from no sleep. Just ask my Hubby. He's been telling me all week. Errggg.
Then on Tuesday... my sister-in-law, who is only 45, had a mild heart attack. It was a stressful time. She has 4 kids and a husband (my brother) who were very worried. I was worried too. She's too young for heart trouble! Right? She was in the hospital in the small town where she lives, but was transported to a city hospital where she stayed until Thursday. Thankfully, she only suffered damage to 5% of her heart and will be just fine. She will have to make some changes to her diet and physical activity. What's hard for me to understand... is that she has been trying for years to make these changes and I thought she was doing very well. So what happened?
Anyway, on to Wednesday. All is well.... until... my son calls me from school. He's sick. Stomach flu? Who knows... he was running a fever all day and said his stomach didn't feel good... but that was it. Kept him home on Thursday to make sure he was really well and he was back at school on Friday. He couldn't miss the play that his G.A.T.E. class was doing... it was Peter Pan and he was playing Smitty!
Well, Thursday... ok, that was all I could handle. I'd been tired all week. Exhausted really. Grocery shopping, homework, laundry, etc., on top of everything else... I just came apart. I sat in my shower as long as I could.... as long as the hot water was still running... and cried. I poured my heart out to God.
Things that I thought I had given over to Him long ago came pouring out.... "Lord, I can't do it! I'm no good. I'm a terrible wife, mother, daughter, friend, (and everything else I could think of). I'm tired. I can't manage my home or finances. I can't cook. I don't feed my kids healthy enough. I don't take care of myself. I don't do enough at church. I don't help people. My blog (yes... I brought my blog into it!), it just isn't what I know it should be. Nothing is fun anymore! And it's all about me... I HATE that about myself. See Lord, even my prayer is all about me! Why can't I get it right?" And sadly.... it just got uglier. I, I, I and Me, me, me... and the pity party went on... well, until the water turned cold.
Friday and Saturday? Who knows. Obviously, they came and went... but they are just a blur.
Which brings us back to Sunday! Now, I know my week wasn't what I had planned, but it is what God allowed in my life. And He knows best. He brought me through it. He is preparing me for what's ahead. Making me stronger... mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I have a feeling there may be many more days or weeks like this ahead. But God is my personal trainer. If He says I can do it... I will trust Him. I will not give up.
Since I missed the concert, I thought I'd post my favorite song by Dallas Holm on my blog. It is close to Easter and this is, in my opinion, the best song for Easter. I listened to Dallas Holm about 25 years ago. Wow... that's a long time. So it's an oldie, but a classic...
If ever you need prayer... just ask me. I'll pray now and tomorrow and whenever I think about it. I'll write your name down so I don't forget. I'll pass it along to prayer chains, turn in a prayer card at church, and post your name on my Prayer Wall. I'll do my very best to pray for you and keep my word.
Why?
Because I know prayer works. I know God hears us. And I know He answers. He is faithful.
It's so important to be covered in prayer. I pray for my family every day. Whenever they come to mind... wherever they are. I know He hears me.
Then why is it so hard for me to ask others for prayer?
Bringing our requests before God is an awesome privilege. I know this. Being in agreement with others is powerful. Standing in the gap for others is a wonderful thing.
Yet... I don't feel as if my needs are as important as others' may be. I feel like I'm just complaining. Like everyone else's requests are so serious or major... that my asking someone to pray about my 'little' worries is a sign of weakness.
But that, I know, is a deception. So... I'm just going to put it out there.
By the time this posts, I will be on my way to the surgery center with my mom. She is going in for her 4th surgery for a Basal cell carcinoma that was left untreated for too long. It's the most common form of skin cancer. It isn't life threatening... but, can be disfiguring. She has been in surgery twice to remove it completely. The result of that is the removal of almost 1/2 of her nose.
Her last surgery was the first in a series of reconstructive surgeries. They are performing skin-grafts to create a 'flap' to cover her nose and may have to use cartilage from her ear. She has been such a trooper through all of this. She is feisty... I know that keeps her going.
She has had bandages on her face for over 3 months now. She doesn't want to go anywhere because she thinks everyone is staring at her. Her cheeks are so chapped from all the tape and band-aids that it gets painful. The surgery tomorrow is going to require a longer recovery time and the entire process may go on through the summer. Hopefully not longer.
She also has hearing loss, Meniere's disease, and emphysema from second hand smoke. Not to mention her eyesight isn't what it used to be. I know the Lord could heal her of it all if He chooses.
Would you please pray for my mother? She is 77 years old. She's tiny, petite, fragile... yet still strong enough to move her furniture around all by herself when she wants to. :) Please pray for a quick recovery and that the Lord would bless the doctors to do the best job possible.
Thanks so much for interceding. God bless!
Mary Ann :)
Have you ever had one of those days where you were really tired, and everything – no matter how small it was – seemed to bother you? Mine was just last week. It wasn’t like anything major or out of the ordinary happened. It was a typical Monday for me. I went to the gym, went to work teaching second grade (My class was actually really well behaved that day), left school at 5:00 to pick up my mom from work, went to the chiropractor, and then stopped by the grocery store on the way home. I was tired, but in a good mood, until I got to the chiropractor’s office. They were short staffed, and the treatment that normally takes 30 minutes took almost an hour. By then I just wanted to go home, but our cats were out of food, so I figured it would be just a quick trip in and out of the store. I was wrong. The lines were long, and I chose one in which the person in front of me had vouchers that the clerk didn’t know how to ring up. This took awhile, and as my frustration mounted, I could feel the tears building behind my eyes. By the time I got home I went to my room, collapsed on my bed, and began to cry. I must have stayed that way for over 30 minutes.
As I lay on my bed I began to ask God what my problem was. In that moment I felt like such a bad Christian. I hated the way I was feeling, but I just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It was then that God began teaching me a lesson which continued all week on being responsive versus being reactive. God tells us that in this world we are going to have troubles, but he also promises us that we can have His peace in the midst of these troubles (See John 16:33). However, we will never be able to rest in that peace He has promised us, if we continue to live in a reactive mode; living like a puppet immediately reacting to everyone and everything in the environment that pulls its strings. This knee jerk reaction is very natural and very human. It is also all around us, because we live in a world filled with reactive people. These same people are also often stressed, anxious, frustrated, angry, and depressed. You might even be one of them.
God, however, calls us to live a very different kind of life. He tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (See Matthew 11:30). One of my favorite verses is found in Exodus 33:14 in which God promises that His presence will go with us and He will give us rest. In order to live in this place of rest that God has promised us, we have to quit reacting to the world around us and start responding to the love of God within us. I’ve found that the best way to do this is to be in constant communication and communion with God throughout the entire day. When God told us to pray without ceasing (See 1 Thessalonians 5:17), He meant that we should always be aware of His presence, like a best friend walking by our side all day, ready to talk to us about anything and comfort us when things just don’t seem to be going our way. I’ve found that the amount of peace that I have throughout the day is directly proportional to the amount of time that I am focused on Him.
A little later in the week God gave me the opportunity to put what He had been teaching me in practice. I had one of those days when everything really did go wrong. My class was acting up, my shoulder was hurting, unexpected chores and errands came my way, and I only got a couple of hours sleep the night before. However, if you were to ask me what kind of day I had, I would tell you that I had a fabulous day! I was more tired and more went wrong, but nothing could rob me of my peace or joy, because I was communing with God. Instead of reacting to what was going on around me, I chose to respond to the One who lives inside of me. As you are going through your day today, please remember that “greater is He who is within you than he who is within the world”. Keep your eyes right where they belong – on Jesus – and he will turn those mountains into mole hills and your sorrows and frustrations into joy.
One subject everyone is talking about today is the economy. Food prices, gas prices, clothing, and other necessities have all gone up. Way up. And who knows when or if they will top out?
Not only are prices going up... packages are getting smaller and the standards for quality are being lowered as companies fight to keep prices down. Not working! We just end up getting less of a not-so-good thing for more money.
This is definitely a time when we all need to be on our toes. Know where our money is going... and then make it go as far as we can. We can't sit back and hope someone will be there to help when we need it. We need to do our part now to hopefully lessen the blow of future setbacks.
I put my faith and trust in God... knowing He will provide for my family during these difficult times. He always has and He always will. No doubt. It says so in His Word and He has proven it to me over and over again through the years. His word also says to walk wisely. I wouldn't be wise if I didn't do my best at managing my money.
Now.... I say that God will provide, but my idea and His idea may be completely different. My 'necessities' may be His 'luxuries'. I want to learn to let go as need be. I want to be flexible. I don't want to try and hang on to things I can't afford. Finding new tips and tricks that I can use helps me do that.
I started to think of the things I currently do that save me the most money. Some I've done for years, some I do on a regular basis, and some I'm flexible on. But, these are what works for me and applies to my family and situation. You may be able to use some of my ideas, you may use them already. Some may not apply to your situation at all, and some you may need in the future. So... Here they are:
Make your own laundry soap. I've been making my own laundry soap for a couple of years now, and I will never go back to store bought. Very easy to make and it's been my top money-saver. Click here for the recipe.
Shop the sales... BEFORE you need it. This has been another great money-saver. When something you use goes on sale... buy it. And buy as much as your budget allows. Always check the expiration date. You don't want to buy more than you can use before it goes bad. It's better to buy what you need NOW at a cheaper price than to wait until you need it at full price. If you're going to end up buying it anyway... why not spend less for it? I check the store ads each week as they come out and make a list of sale items that I use. After a while you will notice that some items, such as meats, go on sale at regular intervals. I usually buy enough to last until the next sale. If you're just starting out... even buying one extra of an item each time will begin to get you ahead. But think ahead.
You don't want to spend all of your money and only have a pantry full of ketchup!
Shop at more than one store. This kind of goes alone with shopping the sales. I check the sale ads for every store in my area. They all come in the mail at the same time. When I go to buy the sale items... that's all I buy. The sale items. Nothing else. If you were to pick up an extra item at every store you visit, it would defeat your purpose of spending less. Also check your local dollar store. Mine has great prices on spices. Not much else though... you'd be surprised how fast those dollars add up!
Condense errands into as few trips as possible.I try to plan the bulk of my errands for one day a week. Other than that... I will keep a list of errands to be done, and the first person to head in that direction is the lucky one who gets to run the errand along their way. Gas prices are too high to make unnecessary trips, no matter how short they may be. And if you shop at more than one store, you'll need to plan ahead. Another reason for keeping ahead by shopping sales... you won't have to waste your gas running to the store for something you just ran out of.
Buy in bulk.I buy in bulk as much as possible. You have to learn prices, which you'll do if you're shopping around at other markets, because sometimes buying in bulk is not the cheapest way to go. Here's how I see it... If I can buy an item in bulk for less, or if it costs the same, I will buy in bulk. If I can get an item cheaper on a sale somewhere else, say it's a usual sale item at another store, then I pass on the bulk item. The only time I buy in bulk when it costs more is when it would cost me more in gas for the extra trips to the store. Seems to even itself out in the cost of money and time spent.
Use less meat.This can be for budget and health reasons. I don't like to make 'meat' the center of our meals. I try to use more veggies, rice, and beans to a dish. Add a salad, bread, or a bowl of fruit. Dicing the meat and adding it to a meal helps it go farther as well, as in casseroles. When we grill... it's hard to say no to a big juicy steak. But even then, a lot may be thrown out with the plates. I've learned to cut steaks and chicken breasts in half. When I make chicken as the 'meal', I usually cut it in strips. Everyone eats less but still seems to be filled. Not to mention you'll cut back on the hormones that are in the meats.
Make it yourself.There are many convenience items you can make at home yourself. Pancake Mix, Waffle Mix, spice mixes or blends, hot chocolate mix, brownie mix, biscuit mix, onion soup mix, ranch dip mix... anything imaginable. We even learned how to make our own 'Starbucks'. Believe me... if you can find it at the store, or even a restaurant... I'm pretty sure you can find a recipe for it on the internet. Try several until you find a favorite. Even non-food items such as, Laundry Soap, liquid hand soap, fabric softener, and window cleaner. It may seem overwhelming, but getting started is the hardest part. For storing bulk mixes (and even bulk foods, such as pasta, rice, beans, etc.) I use food grade buckets from the bakery at my local market. Usually they will be happy to give you any empty 'icing' buckets they may have, just be sure to ask for the lids. For spices, I keep the containers from my local bulk food store. I buy spices in bulk... so I just refill the containers with spice 'mixes' when they are empty. Be sure to label your buckets and spice containers...
Have a leftover night. See what's left from the previous meals of the week and make a new meal out of it. If you can't make something new... serve different sides or fruit with it. Just try to use it up before it goes bad. I've even learned to see what's in the fridge when I'm meal planning. Are the carrots and celery a little limp? Why not throw them in a soup or stew? How about a stir-fry served over rice? Or... the apples aren't being eaten as quickly as they should? Slice them and offer them as a side dish. Same with other veggies. My kids seem to eat more fruits and veggies if I offer them with a meal or slice them up for a snack. Just can't use the leftovers right away? Try freezing them. I do a lot of cooking for the freezer, and many meals can be frozen. Sometimes I will freeze leftovers as a whole meal for another day. Often I will divide leftovers into single servings to freeze for lunches or meals when everyone else is gone. Sending leftovers in school lunches is another good idea... most of the time... just don't forget the utensils. :)
Whew! There you go. My top tips... at least some of them. I kept thinking of other things I'd like to share, so rather than making this a longer post that no one will finish... I'll just save them for another time. Maybe Top Tips Part 2? More Top Tips? Hmmm...
I hope you found something useful here. I love sharing ideas. So do me a favor, will you? If you have a great money-saving tip, would you share it with me? Just leave a comment below. Any household tips are welcome. Married, single, young or old, kids or no kids... we all have to spend money. So may as well learn from each other... right?
Thanks for reading to the end! God bless!
Mary Ann :)
It was one of those days when I had a lot of errands to do. Mail a package, exchange a gift, make a deposit. My husband and kids went with me so we could hang out a little. Oh... and so they could rent a video game. Ok. They went for the game... not for family time. But it was still a nice time.
The bank and Blockbuster were in the same shopping center, right next door to each other, and the last stop before heading home. I thought I'd run in the bank and let my husband take the kids in to start looking for a game they both like. You know how long that can take!
The bank wasn't busy at all and I usually go to the ATM right inside the lobby anyway, so I was out in just a few minutes. As I came outside, heading to the video store, there was a young woman leaning over the garbage can... heaving heavily.
I'm ashamed to say that my first thought was that she had been drinking or something and that maybe if I didn't make eye contact... "Can you help me?" she said. Well, so much for no eye contact. I was now forced to do something. I had two choices: Be a coward and say I have no money... or "Are you ok?" I heard myself say before I could make a decision. I asked again "Are you ok? Do you need help?"
She asked if I could give her money for the bus. She was crying heavily and told me she had just been in a fight with her boyfriend and had no way to get home. I gave her what I had, which wasn't enough for the bus. I told her I'd go ask my husband for money inside and I'd be right back. Well... you know I expected her to be gone. Take off with what I had given her. That's probably all she wanted anyway. Right?
To my surprise, she was waiting for me when I came back outside. There she was sitting on the pavement, back against the wall, crying in despair. I gave her the money and she thanked me. I asked if she could get home alright and she said that she could. Then she broke down and told me she didn't know what to do... and then she said "I have two kids! What am I gonna do?"
After a while, her crying had slowed enough that she could tell me a little more, and she seemed to want to talk. So I listened as she told me that she and her boyfriend had a fight and that he took her kids with him. My older son was now with me and he asked if her boyfriend had hurt her. I'm still angry as I remember her pulling her hair aside to reveal a pretty large lump on her face.
I offered her my phone to call the police but she said she had a phone. She was just afraid to call them as she believed they would arrest both parents in a domestic case and she was worried her kids would be taken from her. And that's when it all gets confusing. What do you do then?
I'm thinking this so-called 'man' should not get away with this and I should call the police. Yet the "mother" in me says to leave it alone. If it were me, I wouldn't want my kids getting into the system. How could I call and risk her losing her kids? But what about her kids? Were they safe? What do you do at that point?
I asked if I could pray for her. She said yes and we prayed. I asked her if she had a home church and she said she hadn't been since her mom died 2 years ago. Broke my heart even more. Here this young woman is with 2 children and a moron for a boyfriend (pardon my language)... and she has no mom to go to for guidance or help. Top that off with the fact that she's afraid to tell her dad because he'll get angry. The only one she has to help her... and she feels that she can't go to him.
I listened to her, hugged her, encouraged her. I told her that parents get angry because they love their kids and don't want to see them hurt. And it makes them even more angry to see someone hurt them deliberately. I encouraged her to ask her father for help... especially if she believed her or her children were in danger. She can't handle this alone. She shouldn't have to. But it's her decision.
After a while her boyfriend called her and told her to come and pick up her kids. How? He left her stranded in the parking lot. Regardless... it seemed to ease her just a bit.
I called someone I knew who was involved in social work and gave them Lucy's name and phone number. I figured that she needed to know what her options were in this situation. Many times I believe women tolerate abuse because they don't know what to do about it. And then I gave her my number. If she really needed help... how could I just leave it at that?
I drove away praying. Praying for Lucy and her children. Praying for wisdom. And that was the end. I never heard from Lucy again.
You know... It's hard to help when you have to be cautious because you don't know the whole situation. Was she telling me the truth? Were there drugs involved? Did she really have kids? I like to take people at their word. But you have to be prepared for reality.
One thing this experience did for me was to make me aware. I need to know where to point people for help. I can't just say "It will be ok." I need to do better than that. If I can't help them... then I need to know who can. I may end up in a similar situation in the future... if so, I want to be prepared to better help. Cautiously, of course.
With that said... here is a great organization for anyone who is suffering abuse.
I am soooo irked!!! I just picked up my kids from school only to find out that their Thanksgiving celebration for their classrooms has been canceled. Why? Because the Health Department said they couldn't bring in outside food. Apparently there is no way for them to check our kitchens to see if we wore hair nets.
Are you kidding me??? I can't remember the last time I saw ANY public food worker wearing a hair net! I even asked my kids when they last saw someone wear a hair net... my 7-year-old said "My lunch lady is the only one I've ever seen in a hair net." That ought to tell you something!
Taco Bell, Arbys, Burger King, Subway, etc.... why aren't they keeping up with them? You know... the ones people actually PAY to get food from? Oh... maybe that's why we can't bring in outside food. No one is making money from it! Hmmm... Instead of making the real businesses keep up with the rules, lets target the little kids who just want to have fun and enjoy the holiday!
I think the main reason this really bothers me is that we are doing a private get together. No one has to pay, no tickets are being sold, and no one outside of the students and parents are invited. All the parents agree to cook and bring in food, we give permission for our kids to share what they brought AND to eat what the others are sharing. Why is this anyone else's business... other than the few who are involved?
What's next? Is someone going to tell me that I can't have guests for Thanksgiving? I mean, you really don't know if I wore a hair net. Erggg...
Sorry for the rant... I just get so tired of more and more rules to tell us what we can and cannot do. Not only are there more rules than ever... they are only enforced on the "little people". Am I the only one bothered by this?
A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet a young man named Richie. I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, waiting for my son to finish orientation for his new job. (Thank you, Lord, for giving him a job!)
I thought I'd be waiting for about half an hour... but it quickly turned into 2 hours. I had left my cell phone at home, so when my son tried to tell me he'd be longer, I had no idea.
I did, however, go to a payphone to call home and see if he had called... someone might have answered my phone. (By the way... do you have any idea how hard it is to find a payphone these days?) Anyway, no one answered and I had to leave a message. I also had no more change and there was no way for anyone to call me back. So, I returned to the parking lot to wait for my son.
I decided to make the best of it. I could read my Bible that I leave in my car. I also happened to have a book with me that I wanted to read. And I have my iPod filled with music and podcasts. I've learned to keep things in my car for times such as these.
I read for a while... the message was about being a woman of influence. It pointed out that we influence peoples lives whether we like it or not and whether we know it or not. It talked about having a mentor or being a mentor to someone else. I got a great message from it. That's when Richie came up to me.
At first, I was a little apprehensive. Here is this young man on a bike, in a not-so-great neighborhood, approaching a woman sitting alone in a near empty parking lot. My first thought... what's gonna happen?
He proceeded to tell me that he was homeless and the bag in his hand was all that he had to make a bed. He had come to this city following a girl. She shortly dumped him and now he has no way to get home to his family. He's 32 years old, he tells me. Seems that a 32 year old would know better, but I can't judge. I've done some pretty stupid things at many ages.
He asked me if I had any money to give him. I looked. But I knew I didn't have any. I don't usually carry cash. In that very moment... I had all these thoughts. What should I do? I don't just want to send him away. What CAN I do? All the words I had just read leaped back into my current thoughts. I can be an influence.
So... out of the ordinary for me, I said "I don't have any money, but if you're hungry, I'll go next door with you and buy you a meal." Now usually, I don't do this. Especially if I'm alone or it's just me with my kids. You just never know these days. But for some reason, I felt a peace.
So Richie said "Really? You'd really do that? Wow, you're such a blessing." And I drove next door to meet him. We walked inside and I asked him what he wanted. He said anything is fine, so I just ordered the usual fast food 'value meal'... super-sized.
He said again "You're such a blessing to me." I told him that God had blessed me so much and He wants us to pass it along. We sat down at a table and talked a bit more. I told him everything I knew about where to get help and even invited him to church. I told him to find a church. God knows his needs, loves him, and He will provide. I truly believe that.
Now... I can't say whether Richie was telling me the truth or not. I can't say he is or is not a drug addict or alcoholic. He didn't give off that impression, but I'm no expert. I don't know if he is from another state or if he's lived here all along. I have no idea.
But one thing I do know... he has a knowledge of God. Maybe he knew him as a child and has since turned away. Maybe some tragic thing has happened to turn him from God. Or maybe... like many of, he has a hard time walking with God in his everyday life.
Whatever the reason or circumstance, I'd like to ask anyone who reads this, to stop and say a prayer for Richie. Will you do that? I may never see this young man again, but I can still help him by praying for him. God's Word says in 1 John 5:14-15 that if we ask according to God's will, He hears us! Would you take the time to talk to God about this young man and help change his life? There is such power in prayer!
It's been a great morning! God has been giving me so many things to write about. So much that I was a little late getting out the door to take my kids to school. I just couldn't stop typing. Thankfully my kids are used to getting to school just at the bell (...I know... I'm working on that!) and they are such troopers! Gotta love 'em!
Anyway, I had to make a quick run to the bank before I headed home. And often I'll stop at the little park on the way home to have my Bible time before I get started with my day. I decided not to do that today. Which was fine because I wouldn't have been listening to the radio this morning. I heard such a great message... it was one of those quick 5 minute messages, but it was packed! Exactly what I needed to hear.
The speaker (wish I could remember who is was) said that his father used to say
"Dogs don't bark at parked cars!"
What does that mean?...
Well... he went on to say that as long as we do nothing, there is no opposition. If you are doing nothing, going nowhere, stagnant... then no one cares. They have no reason to oppose you or disagree with what you are saying or doing.
But once we start moving, all the 'barking' begins. We are met with opposition. People who tell us we'll fail, we won't succeed. People who say we're waisting our time.
Often I'd be doing just what I know God called me to and I'd be happy doing it... and then someone would come and offer their 'opinion' as to what I should be doing. Or how they would do it. Or how I could do it better. Sometimes they even tell me that what I'm doing just doesn't work... when it really does. Or maybe I just shouldn't do it at all.
Sometimes the 'barking' gets so loud that I can't ignore it... I begin to listen... and I slow down. As I back off of what I should be doing, the 'barking' decreases. Life becomes a little quieter. I begin to savor the quiet. So I slow down some more... until I STOP doing what the Lord has led me to do. And that's when I begin to feel like a failure. Why? Because I took my focus off of God, and put it instead on the opposition.
Remember what it was like to learn how to ride a bike? Most likely your parents (or whoever taught you) were telling you to keep peddling... you can do it. And they were right. You did it. But then as you gained your confidence... here come the 'dogs'! Did you do anything wrong? No. You did it right. Just like you were supposed to. But here they came barking at you anyway. It's was tempting to look back and pay attention to them. I mean... did you see the size of those teeth! But you didn't. You kept looking ahead for fear of falling off your bike... and becoming a snack. You stayed focused.
And that's what we need to do. Stay focused on God and what He's called us to do. Let me encourage you to keep going. Keep doing what you're called and gifted to do. No matter what anyone says. The only one we need to please is God. We need to keep our focus on Him.
Are there gifts and talents that God has given you but you don't use them because of all the 'barking'? The opposition? Other people's opinions? USE THEM! Don't let yourself become stagnant. Let God use you!
I sometimes feel as if I'm living on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I'm up... some days I'm down. Some days I don't know where I'm headed or what direction I'm going. And then there are days that are just a little more 'ride' than I can handle. You know... the ones that make you sick!
Sick of life. Sick of work. Sick of people. Sick of doing. Sick of being...
I have days when I like everyone and everyone likes me... (or so I'd like to think.) And then those days when I wish I could be alone. Or maybe I just don't fit in. Or... maybe everyone else would like me to go away.
I have days when I feel like I do everything well. I feel confident. I can cook, clean, pay the bills, and get the kids to school on time. I think I look pretty good for my age. I feel good in a certain outfit.
Followed by days of feeling like I'm not good at anything at all. Like I'm a failure. I'm not a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend... or whatever hat I may be wearing at the time. Like I don't take care of myself the way I should. Nothing I wear fits or flatters me. I need to lose weight. Eat healthier. What am I teaching my kids?
Sometimes I feel like trying my best, being my best, and being a success.
And then the next moment... I think, "Why bother?"
There are days when I'm happy with exactly where I am in life and who I turned out to be. And then days filled with... 'if only's' and 'what if's' and 'why didn't I's'.
My thoughts... my feelings... my opinions about life. They may change every day, or every hour for that matter. They change with the circumstances or with the weather. I don't know how I will feel from one day to the next. But there is one thing I know for sure...
HE is my constant!
God will never change!
He is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY, and FOREVER!
God's Word tells me EXACTLY how He feels about me, what He thinks about me, and WHO HE SAYS I AM!
It just doesn't matter how I feel. It can NOT change the TRUTH of God's Word.
I doesn't matter what circumstances or challenges I may be facing... God still feels the same about me.
I can feel alone. I can feel far from God. But that won't change the truth that He will never leave me or forsake me.
Someone may not like me... but that doesn't make me less in God's eyes. He loves me the same.
I may feel that I can't do anything. And while I can't do everything, it won't change the truth that I can do ALL things through Christ. If He called me to it... He will see me through it!
You see... God loves me. God loves you. He sent His Son to die for our sins! How much more could He possibly do to show what we mean to Him? To show that He loves us. And yet so many of us doubt and wonder if He really does. How can this be?
It's because we're not spending time with God. Any relationship needs TIME and TOGETHERNESS or there is no relationship. (A post for another day...)
While God gave us 'feelings', our emotions should never be in control. They only serve as a guide. They can lead us in the wrong direction at any moment if we give in to them. We need to stick to the truth of the Bible! If our emotions don't line up with God's Word... don't follow them.
How do we know if our emotions line up with God's Word? Keep Christ at the center at all times! READ the Bible! Spend time in God's Word. Hide it in your heart.
You see... we can live a whole different life in our minds. Our perceptions can be distorted from reality. That's why God tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And the only way to do that is by the TRUTH of GOD's WORD.
My prayer is that we all would take time today to read God's word and spend time with Him. Let's not believe the lies our emotions tell us. Let's believe God instead.
I've heard that phrase so many times in my life. Usually by someone who is doing what should not be done... and does it knowing they shouldn't do it. That's their way of justifying whatever it is they want to do even though they know they shouldn't do it. They say "I'm only hurting myself." Are you following me? Good.
Do you know how I know this is true? Because I've done it. I've said it. I've had things in my life that I KNEW were wrong and yet did them anyway. Why? Because I believed that 'I was only hurting myself'. Or at least that's what I'd tell myself to ease the guilt. What a deception.
Does anyone agree with me? Is there any way that you can do whatever you please and not hurt anyone but yourself? Absolutely not! And do you know why? It's because you are not alone.
God sees. Your family sees. Your friends see. And it hurts them tremendously to see you hurting yourself. Besides hurting the people you love emotionally, there is a strong possibility that the wrong choices you make today will have a long term affect on their life as well. Maybe hurting them physically or by altering the direction or circumstances of their life.
For example...
I have seen my family through alcohol abuse as a child, and later through drug abuse as an adult. While either of these family members would be quick to say they were 'only hurting themselves'... I beg to differ. I don't recall a time more painful than those spent watching my loved ones destroy themselves. Emotional pain. It took away precious time with these loved ones that can never be replaced. It made them absent from our family... either mentally or physically. It altered our circumstances.
Then there's my mother. She has Emphysema. She has scarring on her lungs. She has trouble breathing at times. She coughs. She has mucus all the time. (Sorry, gross.) And there is nothing they can do to fix it or make it better. The thing is.... my mother doesn't smoke. She got it from second-hand smoke. Someone she lived with who smoked. I'm sure the person (people) thought they were 'only hurting themselves'. But in reality... they hurt my mother physically. I know it wasn't malicious or intentional. But it hurt her all the same.
And being a mom... let me tell you. I could not begin to list all of my bad decisions. The selfish things I did and then tried to justify it with "I'm only hurting myself". (Closely related to "Well... I'm not hurting anyone!") So not true! I bought the lies, planted them, and then my kids reaped the harvest. I made poor choices that altered the direction and circumstances of their lives.
Wrong choices have plagued us since the beginning of time. How were Adam and Eve to know that the selfish decision they made to eat the forbidden fruit would somehow affect not only them, but every person that would ever exist? I don't even think they had time to say "We're only hurting ourselves!" After all... they were the only ones there. Had they known... would they have made a different choice? I'd like to think so.
The Bible is full of examples of people just like you and me and Adam and Eve, who made decisions to follow their selfish desires. People who thought that what they did wouldn't hurt anyone but themselves... only to find the opposite is true. Take a look for yourself.
And now that you know that what you docan and will affect others... will you make better choices?
If we read God's Word... pray and seek Him... He will lead us. God's Word is a 'lamp unto our feet, and a light unto our path'. Trust Him.
Until next time... Thanks for reading and God bless!
Mary Ann :)
