So... I decided to homeschool. Yes, yes... I am now a homeschooling mom. Who would have thought that at the age of 45 my age, when I could be celebrating the freedom that [finally] comes after years of having small children and no time to myself, I would choose to dedicate most of my waking hours to homeschooling? Certainly not me! I admit, I did play with the idea often enough, but in my defense, it was much less time consuming and not as difficult in my fantasy vision.
You see, I had this idea that we'd spend a couple of hours or so each day in the books, and then use the rest of our time doing educational activities or maybe spending time with other homeschooling families. Ha!
No, it's been a difficult road for this first time homeschooling mom. First of all... my brain has not had to use much of this information in many [many] years. It's hard to locate where it's been stored all this time and apparently my brain isn't very well organized or else the information would be more easily accessible.
The first week of school was the worst. I have this problem of being a perfectionist... needing to do things step-by-step and not only that, but lets do it efficiently. Well, that didn't work out very well. I was feeling overwhelmed. We were all tired and frustrated and yes... there were tears... but I am not ashamed to cry in front of my kids!
Teaching two different grades is a bit of a challenge. Trying to help one child while the other is working independently would be ideal, but I haven't quite found our 'groove' yet. I am assured that all will be well by the end of the first year. I think that's a mild way of saying that it won't get any better than this.
Time is limited. I don't have the luxury of doing laundry, sweeping and mopping the floors, or doing other chores as they are needed [bummer. Yeah, right!] I don't have any 'me' time unless you count showers or the few minutes I spend reading in between assessments...or blogging on into the wee hours of the morning with one eye open and the other searching for the pillow.
It certainly is a way of life, but it's a life I enjoy. I get to spend quality time with my kids. I get to watch them learn. I get to keep my mind working and active.... I'm learning! Turns out this really is a great thing. All the 'me' time in the world isn't as valuable as the time spent with my kids.
We are now into our 6th week of school and beginning to love it. No, we haven't got a routine down yet. Although we do try. And some days are much longer than others. We are finding ourselves doing 'homework' at night just before bed, in the morning before breakfast, and even on Saturdays. Never on Sundays though... that's a rule. It's a lot of work, and it's hard work. But we are determined and we are pressing on! I am proud of my kids and the progress they are making and I'm so glad we decided to homeschool!
I can't believe how fast this summer is flying by. Day after day seems to be filled with activities. Not exactly the ones that I need to be doing... like laundry, vacuuming, bill paying... no, I have become the 'entertainment director' of some sorts. It's not a bad job, I enjoy hanging out with the kids. Playing games, going to a movie or going for a walk is just fine with me. I've even had time to read! (The reason for so many book reviews on my blog!) I just can't help feeling guilty for not doing the housework.
No... I take that back. Maybe it's a different kind of guilt. It's when I look around the house or go to make dinner and see we don't have anything to make, that I feel guilty for NOT feeling guilty. Should I feel guilty? I mean.... everyone in my house is over 18 except for Baby Boy (11), and Baby Girl (7). And they are pretty self-sufficient. There really isn't anyone who needs me to do much for them.
We do hit up the dollar menus more than I'd like, but it's nice to be out of the house and not 'tied' to it. I use to be on top of everything... the bills, the shopping, the laundry. I could tell you where anything was in the house. Now, it's anyone's guess. I sometimes wish I could 'do it all' like I used to. But it just doesn't feel the same. It was a full-time job then. With overtime! 24/7. I enjoyed it. It's what I did... what I had to do. I don't want to do that anymore. I enjoy spending my time with the people in my life rather than just taking care of the 'things' and 'to do's'.
Don't get me wrong. I do take care of the house and family. I feed the kids and do the laundry... blah, blah, blah. Just not as detailed or punctual... and not nearly as organized as I used to. But now we have time to do other things. Even relaxing is new to me. I'm beginning to enjoy it! Although, I do realize I need to have balance in my life. I used to live by lists that had to be completed each day. I wanted a clean and organized home. I realize now that I just didn't need it to be perfect. Now I'm on the flip-side. I want to enjoy life... but I don't want to be lazy or have no purpose or motivation.
For now, I'll just enjoy the summer while my kids are still young enough to want to hang out with me. My kids are going up fast and they won't always be kids, but my 'things' and 'to-do's'... they aren't going anywhere. Believe me... I've tried to catch up on them for years and they're still here... 'to-do'.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
~Psalm 51:10
Do you know what my heart looks like on the inside?
It's beaten, tattered, torn.
It's worn out, used up...
Neglected.
It's been crushed, stepped on.
It's bruised from past hurts.
It's been betrayed, and it's betrayed in return.
It refuses to let anyone in for fear of injury.
It becomes defensive... quickly.
It harbors resentment.
Unforgiveness.
Bitterness, anger, jealousy.
It can be self-serving.
It's often disobedient.
Impatient. Rebellious.
It gets caught up in selfishness and greed.
Sometimes it doesn't want to give any more.
And sometimes... it just doesn't knowhow it can go on.
Not a pretty picture is it? Honestly... it's a mess! That's why my prayer is often...
"Lord, here's my heart. Take it, and make me new."
What more can I offer? He knows I come with dirty, empty hands. There is nothing I can do to 'sparkle' before my Lord. He knows this...He sees my heart. He knows ME. And yet He wants my heart anyway.
Why? Because HE can transformit!
There is so much to learn from King David in the Bible. He was called "a man after God's own heart"... yet he was as humanly flawed as the rest of us. And he KNEW IT! He didn't try to cover it up. He laid it all out before God, confessed it, repented, received forgiveness... and moved on with the Lord.
Listen to what David says in Psalm 51 (NIV):
1Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity. 10Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
You and I, like David, even though our hearts are full of sin... can come before the Lord and ask for mercy. He will restore us. He will wash us clean with the blood of Jesus.
We don't need to clean ourselves up before we come to God. We need to come to God to GET clean. We need to lay it all before Him, and allow Him to do the work in us. And He will. He is faithful!
Let your prayer be today... "Lord, here's my heart!"
When we think about Memorial Day, it's usually associated with a 3-day weekend, family time, picnics, barbeques, and great sales. You must know if you're looking to buy furniture... this is the time to buy!
While all these are great ways to celebrate, lets not forget the reason why we celebrate Memorial Day.
This is the day when we remember all the brave men and women who died in service to our country. I am so thankful for those who gave their lives to protect my family and protect the freedom we enjoy today. I will not take that for granted. Let's take the time to honor them and say a prayer of thanks for the great sacrifices they made.
And please remember... let's say a prayer for those they left behind. They made great sacrifices while their loved ones served and ultimately gave their lives... and I appreciate them as well. Take a moment to reach out and encourage someone who is missing their loved one today.
If you're reading this then you are probably aware that the world isn't ending today. Did you even think it would? Some did. And my heart breaks for them.
I know there has been a lot of joking and laughing about this whole mess. But I have to wonder... should there be? Especially by those who call themselves christians?
You see.... these people bought into a lie. Wholeheartedly. They allowed themselves to be deceived. To me, that is a sad thing.
Can you imagine what these people are thinking today? What choices they might have made while thinking today would be their last? Not to mention all they will have to endure at the hands of those who knew they held this belief... and they were wrong. I would be devastated. I'm sure many of them are as well.
Would you pray for Harold Camping and all of his followers today? They need our prayers now more than ever. They need Jesus. He can restore them. Please pray that they run to the arms of our loving Savior and receive the forgiveness He has to offer. That they would be motivated to seek His face and read His Word... and know it. I pray that this event (or lack of it) today will open their eyes and they will know the truth.
"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
~John 8:31-32
It is so important that we keep our eyes on Jesus... and Him alone. When we begin to trust in man, we put ourselves at risk. We put our eternity at risk.
Are all men going to lead you astray? Certainly not. But how will you ever know if you aren't seeking God for yourself.... reading His Word, PRAYING and following Him.
And while we're at it... let's pray for one another that we will not be deceived. Lies are coming at us faster than we can keep track. Let''s stay in God's Word, pray for one another, and encourage others to do the same.
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."
~Matthew 24:36
There are so many false teachings as of late, I'm sure you may have heard the prediction by Harold Camping. He believes that the "End Of The World", "Rapture of the Church", or "Judgement Day"... will take place on Saturday, May 21st.... at 6pm in your corresponding time zone.
This is a false prophesy. How do I know this?
First, Harold Camping has already been proven to be a false prophet. In 1992, he published a book titled "1994?" predicting the end of the world on September 6, 1994. Obviously, he was wrong. What do you call someone who prophesied and the prophesy didn't come true? A FALSE prophet!
Second, I know it's false because it contradicts the Word of God. The Bible clearly states, by Jesus Himself, that NO ONE KNOWS the day or the hour. Not the angels and not even the Son. Only the Fatherknows. So why would God give someone a prophesy that goes against His Word? He wouldn't! And if you allow yourself to believe He would... then you must believe Jesus to be a liar. See below... the words of Jesus...
Matthew 24:36
How much more clearer can it be?
Now, more than ever, we need to be reading our Bible for ourselves. Eternity is too important to be taken at someone else's word... someone else's understanding of what the Bible really means.
Don't take anyone else's word! Please! Not a pastor, preacher, an evangelist, a neighbor... and certainly not me! You have Heaven and Hell before you. ETERNITY! This is YOUR decision! You will stand before God ALONE! Please don't make a decision because 'someone said', or 'I heard', or even 'I think'. Read the Bible for yourself! Pray and ask God to show you the truth. He is faithful. He hears our prayers and knows our hearts.
I can't tell you enough how important it is. The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 to "prove all things" (KJV) or "test everything" (NIV). No matter what you hear in church on Sunday... no matter what you hear on christian radio or tv... no matter what your best christian friend or neighbor says.... and no matter what you read on any blog or in the paper... TEST IT!... before you believe it. Make sure it lines up with the Word of God.
“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
When I woke up this morning, I thought my day would be spent at church... listening to Dallas Holm in concert, staying after so the kids could practice their song with the choir for the Palm Sunday performance next weekend, and then stopping for a late lunch on the way home. That's what I thought.
Instead, I sit here with my Baby Girl's head on my lap as she wiggles from pain and I hold her hair back as she vomits... again, and again, and again. She hasn't eaten all day, yet her stomach thinks there's still something in there. Believe me, there isn't. Sleep and rest just won't come for her today. Stupid flu!
It's been that kind of week in general. A week for expecting the unexpected. All the plans in my 'notebook' meant nothing when it came down to it.
Last Sunday, my Hubby twisted his ankle while playing catch with my son at the park. A simple turn, turned bad. His foot was swollen to at least twice it's normal size and he had this tennis-ball-sized bump sticking out from the side. It did get better after a couple of days and few shades of purple we hadn't seen before, and he still went to work. Thankfully, he was aided by a cane my oldest daughter, Little Lady, bought him as a 'gag' gift for $1 at a thrift store several years ago. Ironic? Yes... that was too funny! (oh... you had to be there.)
Then on Monday, I had taken my mom for her 4th reconstructive surgery for this darn skin cancer. Such a small-looking thing can cause so much trouble if not taken care of immediately. This was by far the worst. When they brought me back to sit with her in recovery, I have to admit I was shocked. Not shocked at the scars, stitches or even the blood... but shocked at the extent of it all. It looked as if they had made a jig-saw puzzle with her face. To see my mother looking so helpless and 'beat up' was a little more than I expected. I had to hold back the tears as I told her how well she did and that the surgery went just as planned. "What have I done?" was my first thought. Followed by "How can I hide this from her?" You know... when you think you did the right thing at first and then panic at the thought that you really messed up? Uh-huh.
This time, they gave her more drugs than usual, which I didn't like. But it worked out well because I couldn't get her pain medication from the pharmacy 'pending appoval' from her insurance which I'm pretty sure will never come. Thankfully, my mother has a high tolerance for pain and the worst part was over by the time the hospital drugs wore off. Since then, I've been giving her antibiotics every 6 hours, which is very hard to do by the 5th or 6th night. My brain no longer reacts to my alarm. I give her her pills late, but I do give them to her, and I'm just cranky all day long from no sleep. Just ask my Hubby. He's been telling me all week. Errggg.
Then on Tuesday... my sister-in-law, who is only 45, had a mild heart attack. It was a stressful time. She has 4 kids and a husband (my brother) who were very worried. I was worried too. She's too young for heart trouble! Right? She was in the hospital in the small town where she lives, but was transported to a city hospital where she stayed until Thursday. Thankfully, she only suffered damage to 5% of her heart and will be just fine. She will have to make some changes to her diet and physical activity. What's hard for me to understand... is that she has been trying for years to make these changes and I thought she was doing very well. So what happened?
Anyway, on to Wednesday. All is well.... until... my son calls me from school. He's sick. Stomach flu? Who knows... he was running a fever all day and said his stomach didn't feel good... but that was it. Kept him home on Thursday to make sure he was really well and he was back at school on Friday. He couldn't miss the play that his G.A.T.E. class was doing... it was Peter Pan and he was playing Smitty!
Well, Thursday... ok, that was all I could handle. I'd been tired all week. Exhausted really. Grocery shopping, homework, laundry, etc., on top of everything else... I just came apart. I sat in my shower as long as I could.... as long as the hot water was still running... and cried. I poured my heart out to God.
Things that I thought I had given over to Him long ago came pouring out.... "Lord, I can't do it! I'm no good. I'm a terrible wife, mother, daughter, friend, (and everything else I could think of). I'm tired. I can't manage my home or finances. I can't cook. I don't feed my kids healthy enough. I don't take care of myself. I don't do enough at church. I don't help people. My blog (yes... I brought my blog into it!), it just isn't what I know it should be. Nothing is fun anymore! And it's all about me... I HATE that about myself. See Lord, even my prayer is all about me! Why can't I get it right?" And sadly.... it just got uglier. I, I, I and Me, me, me... and the pity party went on... well, until the water turned cold.
Friday and Saturday? Who knows. Obviously, they came and went... but they are just a blur.
Which brings us back to Sunday! Now, I know my week wasn't what I had planned, but it is what God allowed in my life. And He knows best. He brought me through it. He is preparing me for what's ahead. Making me stronger... mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I have a feeling there may be many more days or weeks like this ahead. But God is my personal trainer. If He says I can do it... I will trust Him. I will not give up.
Since I missed the concert, I thought I'd post my favorite song by Dallas Holm on my blog. It is close to Easter and this is, in my opinion, the best song for Easter. I listened to Dallas Holm about 25 years ago. Wow... that's a long time. So it's an oldie, but a classic...
It was one of those days when I had a lot of errands to do. Mail a package, exchange a gift, make a deposit. My husband and kids went with me so we could hang out a little. Oh... and so they could rent a video game. Ok. They went for the game... not for family time. But it was still a nice time.
The bank and Blockbuster were in the same shopping center, right next door to each other, and the last stop before heading home. I thought I'd run in the bank and let my husband take the kids in to start looking for a game they both like. You know how long that can take!
The bank wasn't busy at all and I usually go to the ATM right inside the lobby anyway, so I was out in just a few minutes. As I came outside, heading to the video store, there was a young woman leaning over the garbage can... heaving heavily.
I'm ashamed to say that my first thought was that she had been drinking or something and that maybe if I didn't make eye contact... "Can you help me?" she said. Well, so much for no eye contact. I was now forced to do something. I had two choices: Be a coward and say I have no money... or "Are you ok?" I heard myself say before I could make a decision. I asked again "Are you ok? Do you need help?"
She asked if I could give her money for the bus. She was crying heavily and told me she had just been in a fight with her boyfriend and had no way to get home. I gave her what I had, which wasn't enough for the bus. I told her I'd go ask my husband for money inside and I'd be right back. Well... you know I expected her to be gone. Take off with what I had given her. That's probably all she wanted anyway. Right?
To my surprise, she was waiting for me when I came back outside. There she was sitting on the pavement, back against the wall, crying in despair. I gave her the money and she thanked me. I asked if she could get home alright and she said that she could. Then she broke down and told me she didn't know what to do... and then she said "I have two kids! What am I gonna do?"
After a while, her crying had slowed enough that she could tell me a little more, and she seemed to want to talk. So I listened as she told me that she and her boyfriend had a fight and that he took her kids with him. My older son was now with me and he asked if her boyfriend had hurt her. I'm still angry as I remember her pulling her hair aside to reveal a pretty large lump on her face.
I offered her my phone to call the police but she said she had a phone. She was just afraid to call them as she believed they would arrest both parents in a domestic case and she was worried her kids would be taken from her. And that's when it all gets confusing. What do you do then?
I'm thinking this so-called 'man' should not get away with this and I should call the police. Yet the "mother" in me says to leave it alone. If it were me, I wouldn't want my kids getting into the system. How could I call and risk her losing her kids? But what about her kids? Were they safe? What do you do at that point?
I asked if I could pray for her. She said yes and we prayed. I asked her if she had a home church and she said she hadn't been since her mom died 2 years ago. Broke my heart even more. Here this young woman is with 2 children and a moron for a boyfriend (pardon my language)... and she has no mom to go to for guidance or help. Top that off with the fact that she's afraid to tell her dad because he'll get angry. The only one she has to help her... and she feels that she can't go to him.
I listened to her, hugged her, encouraged her. I told her that parents get angry because they love their kids and don't want to see them hurt. And it makes them even more angry to see someone hurt them deliberately. I encouraged her to ask her father for help... especially if she believed her or her children were in danger. She can't handle this alone. She shouldn't have to. But it's her decision.
After a while her boyfriend called her and told her to come and pick up her kids. How? He left her stranded in the parking lot. Regardless... it seemed to ease her just a bit.
I called someone I knew who was involved in social work and gave them Lucy's name and phone number. I figured that she needed to know what her options were in this situation. Many times I believe women tolerate abuse because they don't know what to do about it. And then I gave her my number. If she really needed help... how could I just leave it at that?
I drove away praying. Praying for Lucy and her children. Praying for wisdom. And that was the end. I never heard from Lucy again.
You know... It's hard to help when you have to be cautious because you don't know the whole situation. Was she telling me the truth? Were there drugs involved? Did she really have kids? I like to take people at their word. But you have to be prepared for reality.
One thing this experience did for me was to make me aware. I need to know where to point people for help. I can't just say "It will be ok." I need to do better than that. If I can't help them... then I need to know who can. I may end up in a similar situation in the future... if so, I want to be prepared to better help. Cautiously, of course.
With that said... here is a great organization for anyone who is suffering abuse.
'Twasn't the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a.... wait. That's not true. I'm stirring. For over an hour now.
Why can't I sleep? Let me think....
Oh, that's it! I keep thinking! Well, that, and my Baby Girl who came in to tell me she's sick and is now occupying my bed. That'll do it.
But since I'm up... Lord, could you please tell me how I can handle this mess of a day tomorrow? And why do I worry about it? I know you're in control and "I can do all things through Christ"! And yet here I sit planning it all out.
Here's how I see it...
Wake up early.
Remind Mom not to eat or drink because she has surgery today.
Have Young Man take Little Lady to work so I can get ready. (Little Lady's car broke down. Hopefully she can find a ride home and a ride to the airport tonight - she's going to see her BFF. I'll still be at the hospital.)
Shower & get dressed.
Make breakfast... but not for Mom.
Get Baby Boy ready for school. Baby Girl won't be going because... well, she's sick. Would have let Baby Boy stay home the whole day, but he doesn't want to miss his GATE class. So he'll go for the morning.
Hubby will drop Baby Boy off at school on the way to his 2nd, 8hr day of orientation for his new job. (Thank you, Lord!)
Get things together for our day at the hospital: GameBoys, Nook, and cell phone (make sure they're charged), art pads and pens, books, plenty of one dollar bills for the vending machines. Oh... and make sure Mom has her ID and Insurance info.
Take Young Man downtown for Jury Duty. (His first ever.) And don't forget my GPS. Hope he finds a ride home... the bus?
Pick up Baby Boy from school on the way home. He and Baby Girl will have to go with me to the hospital for Mom's surgery. No one to pick them up from school, no one at home, no one with a car. Hope Baby Girl isn't too sick. Won't be fun.
Make lunch... but not for Mom.
Clean house, laundry.... forget it. No time. There's a perk! :)
Load up the Van with backpacks, kids and Mom and head over to the hospital. Need to be there an hour early for paperwork. Would have re-scheduled but it took 4 weeks to get an appointment that should have only taken 3-5 days to get... so, no chance I'd miss it.
Get Mom checked in. Hope they will let me bring the kids in... she can't hear very well and I need to know what's going on.
Call Kid to see if he can still pick up Baby Boy and Baby Girl from the hospital and stay with them until Hubby gets home.
Wait patiently for Mom to be finished. Yes! Quiet time! I can read a book. :)
Sit with Mom in recovery... then head over to the pharmacy to pic up her meds.
Dinner? Not on my list. Maybe Kid or Hubby can pick something up. (Send money with them.)
Home at last! Hopefully Young Man and Little Lady each found a ride to where they needed to go. Have one of the 'boys' help me get Mom upstairs so she can rest for the night. And me too.
Pray for a quick recovery for Mom. Do I dare go to Ladies Bible Study on Friday? Probably not... but I'll hope. Can't leave Mom alone on meds and getting up every 4 hours = pretty sleepy.
It's funny how my mind works when I'm tired. Looking at my list now I know it will all go well. God is in control and I've worried for nothing. But it seemed so big in my head! Not that I have a big head. Do I?
As I sit here reading, I can imagine a voice in my head... like one of those announcements after an old cartoon. You know...
Will Little Lady find a ride home from work? Will she get to the airport on time? And what is the fate of her car?
Will Young Man take the bus after Jury Duty? Did he get picked?
Will Kid get off work in time to pick up Baby Boy and Baby Girl? What will they have for dinner?
And what about Ladies Bible Study?
Tune in next time...
I can only imagine how small our problems look to God. And when we keep our eyes on Him, they will look small to us as well. I can keep my own plans for the day, or I can let Him lead me. It's MY way or the HIGHway. Not a tough choice... I'm going to give my day back to Him.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9
I just opened an annual statement from a church I used to attend. It was for tax purposes and to summarize what the church funds had been used for over the year. Also, the tell all the good that had come from the tithes and offerings. A normal thing for a church to do.
What really got my attention was this... it gave the number of people who had made Jesus their "leader and forgiver."Leader and forgiver??? What happened to LORD and SAVIOR?
Am I wrong for being offended by this? I know we always have new Bible translations with current wording... but this seems to be totally watered down. I feel the new generation of believers will totally miss the sovereignty of God.
Leader? That could be anyone? Your parents, your boss, your teacher, even your pastor? But only ONE can be LORD! Leader is someone who shows you the way and you follow. Yes... Jesus can be considered a leader. But to make Jesus the LORD of your life... well, that's a big difference. It means you submit to His will and not your own. It means that you lay every area of your life at His feet. It means every decision, every choice, every step you take in life is guided and directed by HIM. He knows what's best for us... He wrote the book. We follow His Word.
And forgiver? What is that supposed to mean? You could go to any person and ask their forgiveness. Just like a priest. They would then become your forgiver. But they could NEVER be your SAVIOR! Only Jesus can be our Savior! He died so that we could live!
I'm tired of the Gospel being twisted to fit what people want to believe. To make them comfortable with God or even with the sin they want to hold on to. I don't understand that. If heaven and hell are real... then tell them the truth. I would want to know the truth. Better yet... I'll go look for the truth myself. I don't want to leave such a great decision for my eternity in someone else's hands. What if they're wrong?
We can't hide the truth to attract more people. Jesus didn't disguise himself. And He certainly didn't need to water down what He said. He spoke boldly. No gimmicks. Everyone had the same choice then as they do today. Choose to believe... or walk away. No offense to anyone... but if you want to go to Heaven and spend eternity with God... you will do it HIS WAY. You can't pick and choose what part of the Bible you want to believe. It's all or nothing.
A lot of people today have an 'idea' of who God is or what they think He should be like.... and then proceed to find a church that 'fits' their way of thinking. That's backwards. We need to read the Bible, find out who God says He is... and adjust our lives accordingly. Find a church that teaches His Word.
I believe we don't give people enough credit. As if they can't handle the truth. But they can. We don't need to shield them from it. If we love people... we will tell them what they NEED to hear. The TRUTH. And then it's up to them to either accept or reject. We don't need to try and make Jesus more attractive to them. And we don't need to fill their heads with the false lies that life will be trouble free or they will never sin again... "in this world we will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world."
We won't be perfect... we're human after all. We still need direction in life... that's our need for Jesus to be the LORD of our lives. And we still sin... fall short even when we try our best... and that's why we need Jesus to be our SAVIOR. He does for us what we can't do for ourselves. So why would we want to water that down?
...Whew! I just had to get that out. If you read to the end... thanks. Sometimes I just need to rant.
Those are the words I remember each time I see this picture. It's from a card that I received over 20 years ago.
I have no idea who gave it to me or who wrote it as there is no reference, but I have saved it all this time because it spoke to my heart in such a powerful way. I clearly remember the words "Even Santa Needs A Savior." Although they are not written on the card itself... maybe they were spoken to me by whoever gave it to me. I don't remember.
But one thing I do know... it will always remind me to teach my children the real meaning of Christmas.
I'll never know how Santa became the center of Christmas. Probably by the world's need for a Savior, but it's refusal to receive the One that's been given. How else could you explain it?
Oh, yes. I could say that the devil has used Santa to be a distraction from Jesus. And that would be true. But... we can't be distracted if we aren't willing.
I have been right there with everyone else... waiting in long lines, spending money I don't have on things we don't need. I'm no different.
I've made it all about getting the best gift. The right gift. It's been about the decorations. And it's been about the entertaining.
Now, if I want to make myself sound a little better... I can say that it's all about family time and giving. Putting others first. And that wouldn't be a lie. It happens. More often now that I'm older. Or should I say... 'grown up'.
When I was younger I would strive to be more selfless. And I was to a point. But when the last two shopping days before Christmas get here... forget it. The all demanding 'to-do' list is now at 'priority' status.
Last minute gifts to wrap (even though it will all be un-done in a matter of hours), last minute plans for dinner, and a whole lot of feeling like I forgot something. BUT... at least I helped someone else. Right?
All the giving, loving, and putting others first is great. It's not a bad thing. But if you're only doing it at Christmas... you're missing the point. God doesn't want us to obey Him for a season. He wants our obedience all year long. Or are you even doing it for Him?
I hope that we love because He loved us...and He commands us to love one another. Not for some self-serving satisfaction.
I can be as selfless as ever at Christmas. I can give until I have nothing left to give. And people would say that's the spirit of Christmas.
But it's not the MEANING of Christmas.
Jesus Christ was born... to die. To be the Savior of the World! There would be no holiday without Jesus. HE is the reason we celebrate. Santa may be fun. But he can't save anyone. Christmas belongs to Jesus. It's the day we celebrate His birth. The birth of our Savior.
Please don't think I'm bashing Santa. I just want to keep our perspective of who the holiday is really for and not elevate Santa to a position that belongs only to Jesus.
One final note from the inside of the card...
"God wants you to have a life worth living, not just at the holidays and so-called "good times." The life He gives has a peace that passes all understanding. Jesus says, "In the world you will have tribulation [trouble], but in Me you have peace."
"Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. This Christmas do as the Wise Men did, seek Him! And then you can join the rest of the family of God in "looking for the Blessed Hope and the appearing of our Great God and Savior, Christ Jesus." The real reason for the season!"
This photo is not the baby in the article. The photo is from a public sharing site.
I have to ask myself... has it really come to this?
Has human life become so worthless that we could actually have an internet poll to decide if a child should live or die?
Is the idea of wanting a family and having children so obsolete... that we would take it so lightly... and we would ask the advice of perfect strangers who have no interest, no concern, no investment and would not be affected if the child lives or dies?
Apparently so. I just heard the story of a couple who is doing just that.
In the article Apple Valley couple asking world: birth or abortion? - TwinCities.com, it talks about the 30-year-old couple who are undecided about giving birth to their baby boy, who is now at 17-weeks. They have posted ultrasound photos.... detailing his progress and even calling him "Wiggles". They see this precious child and yet they are still asking the public if they should let him live or abort.
I find this incredibly disgusting. Are we so far from family values that there is no longer the parental instinct to protect your child from all harm? To keep him safe and do your best for him? Have we really become so selfish that a child is no longer a blessing... but an inconvenience? So selfish that we would lay down the life of an innocent child to make our own more comfortable? God help us!
I pray for this couple and their unborn child. For salvation, wisdom, knowledge and the courage to do what is right. They may be the first to put a poll on the internet, but I doubt they are the only ones to feel and think this way. We need to pray diligently for the future generations. Will you pray with me?
I am soooo irked!!! I just picked up my kids from school only to find out that their Thanksgiving celebration for their classrooms has been canceled. Why? Because the Health Department said they couldn't bring in outside food. Apparently there is no way for them to check our kitchens to see if we wore hair nets.
Are you kidding me??? I can't remember the last time I saw ANY public food worker wearing a hair net! I even asked my kids when they last saw someone wear a hair net... my 7-year-old said "My lunch lady is the only one I've ever seen in a hair net." That ought to tell you something!
Taco Bell, Arbys, Burger King, Subway, etc.... why aren't they keeping up with them? You know... the ones people actually PAY to get food from? Oh... maybe that's why we can't bring in outside food. No one is making money from it! Hmmm... Instead of making the real businesses keep up with the rules, lets target the little kids who just want to have fun and enjoy the holiday!
I think the main reason this really bothers me is that we are doing a private get together. No one has to pay, no tickets are being sold, and no one outside of the students and parents are invited. All the parents agree to cook and bring in food, we give permission for our kids to share what they brought AND to eat what the others are sharing. Why is this anyone else's business... other than the few who are involved?
What's next? Is someone going to tell me that I can't have guests for Thanksgiving? I mean, you really don't know if I wore a hair net. Erggg...
Sorry for the rant... I just get so tired of more and more rules to tell us what we can and cannot do. Not only are there more rules than ever... they are only enforced on the "little people". Am I the only one bothered by this?
A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet a young man named Richie. I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, waiting for my son to finish orientation for his new job. (Thank you, Lord, for giving him a job!)
I thought I'd be waiting for about half an hour... but it quickly turned into 2 hours. I had left my cell phone at home, so when my son tried to tell me he'd be longer, I had no idea.
I did, however, go to a payphone to call home and see if he had called... someone might have answered my phone. (By the way... do you have any idea how hard it is to find a payphone these days?) Anyway, no one answered and I had to leave a message. I also had no more change and there was no way for anyone to call me back. So, I returned to the parking lot to wait for my son.
I decided to make the best of it. I could read my Bible that I leave in my car. I also happened to have a book with me that I wanted to read. And I have my iPod filled with music and podcasts. I've learned to keep things in my car for times such as these.
I read for a while... the message was about being a woman of influence. It pointed out that we influence peoples lives whether we like it or not and whether we know it or not. It talked about having a mentor or being a mentor to someone else. I got a great message from it. That's when Richie came up to me.
At first, I was a little apprehensive. Here is this young man on a bike, in a not-so-great neighborhood, approaching a woman sitting alone in a near empty parking lot. My first thought... what's gonna happen?
He proceeded to tell me that he was homeless and the bag in his hand was all that he had to make a bed. He had come to this city following a girl. She shortly dumped him and now he has no way to get home to his family. He's 32 years old, he tells me. Seems that a 32 year old would know better, but I can't judge. I've done some pretty stupid things at many ages.
He asked me if I had any money to give him. I looked. But I knew I didn't have any. I don't usually carry cash. In that very moment... I had all these thoughts. What should I do? I don't just want to send him away. What CAN I do? All the words I had just read leaped back into my current thoughts. I can be an influence.
So... out of the ordinary for me, I said "I don't have any money, but if you're hungry, I'll go next door with you and buy you a meal." Now usually, I don't do this. Especially if I'm alone or it's just me with my kids. You just never know these days. But for some reason, I felt a peace.
So Richie said "Really? You'd really do that? Wow, you're such a blessing." And I drove next door to meet him. We walked inside and I asked him what he wanted. He said anything is fine, so I just ordered the usual fast food 'value meal'... super-sized.
He said again "You're such a blessing to me." I told him that God had blessed me so much and He wants us to pass it along. We sat down at a table and talked a bit more. I told him everything I knew about where to get help and even invited him to church. I told him to find a church. God knows his needs, loves him, and He will provide. I truly believe that.
Now... I can't say whether Richie was telling me the truth or not. I can't say he is or is not a drug addict or alcoholic. He didn't give off that impression, but I'm no expert. I don't know if he is from another state or if he's lived here all along. I have no idea.
But one thing I do know... he has a knowledge of God. Maybe he knew him as a child and has since turned away. Maybe some tragic thing has happened to turn him from God. Or maybe... like many of, he has a hard time walking with God in his everyday life.
Whatever the reason or circumstance, I'd like to ask anyone who reads this, to stop and say a prayer for Richie. Will you do that? I may never see this young man again, but I can still help him by praying for him. God's Word says in 1 John 5:14-15 that if we ask according to God's will, He hears us! Would you take the time to talk to God about this young man and help change his life? There is such power in prayer!
I get so frustrated when I watch the news. And the political ads... don't even get me started! Now, no matter what side you are on, there are a few things that I believe should change. This is only my opinion based on what I see going on today. You may not agree with me. That's ok. I may be wrong... I'm not a professional. Just an average American citizen who would like things to run a little different. Sometimes I would love to boot them all out and start over. But I can't. So....
If I could change the rules... this is where I'd start.
Candidates would run their campaign by telling me how they can make our country better. They would tell me what qualifies them for the job... yes, JOB... that they were running for. Fill me in on their ideas and how they intend to accomplish their goals. They would NEVER say anything negative about another candidate. They would be required to be professional! Have a little class and respect for their competition and for themselves. Didn't their mom's teach them anything. "If you can't say something nice... don't say anything!" I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. I can figure out who the bad guys are for myself. And if I can't... then I need to educate myself a little more on the subject.
Campaign promises... they would NEVER make promises they can't or don't intend to keep. They would be forced to think of what they're planning to do... beyond getting elected. If promises were made, they would have a set time period that they were required to follow through, or at the very least, show that they were actually working on fulfilling those promises. If neither happens... Bye, bye!
There would be a limit on advertising. It wouldn't go on for what seems to be FOREVER... just for a pre-determined time period. Political ads are the new 'spam'... you can't get away from them no matter where you go. (They aren't selling anything, and frankly, I don't want to buy anything they have to offer.) They would spend more time interacting with the real people they claim to want to represent. If they're up for re-election, then their record of the time they spent in office should be enough to get the votes to keep them there. If not, then apparently they don't deserve an extended time in that position.
There would be a limit on what a candidate could spend on a campaign, weather it be personally funded or from donations. A realistic limit. (The first one who says the money can be put to better use gets my vote!) Money would not be an issue and elections would NEVER be bought! I'm sure there are many 'poor' candidates who could better relate to the 'average Joe'. Our government should not be run only by those who can AFFORD it, yet haven't got a clue how to budget like the 'little people'. If we can take care of ourselves and our families on the little we make, there is no reason they can't make it work with what they have. They're just used to having so much, that cutting back on the 'little' things seems like it's not worth the effort.
Term limits. Every position would have term limits. Just because they're doing a great job today... doesn't guarantee they'll be doing it tomorrow. They need some accountability! They need to EARN their spot!
Health insurance. Our government is part of 'we the people.' Even if they don't think so. They would have the same health insurance that we do. If that were the case, I'm sure the health care offered to the public would be much better.
And who in the world thinks it's a good idea that they can vote to give themselves a raise? They want a raise... put it on the ballot. Let the people decide if they deserve it. We would know... they do work for us!
What about their pension plans? Why do these people get paid when they leave office? Ok... maybe if they put in 20 years or more, maybe. But once you're out, you're out. America can't afford to pay you when you aren't working for us anymore.
You know the kind of candidate I would vote for? The one who says... "We're going to cut back. We pay ourselves way too much and we're allowed too many luxuries. We're going to tighten our belts and be the example of what we are asking all Americans to do!" Or the one who says..."I just don't know the answer." instead of making empty promises and giving false hope. I want leaders who will do what is best for our country.
Democrat, Republican, Nonpartisan... whatever they may be... I want a candidate who is there first and foremost to serve our country. Not themselves. Is that really so much to ask?
As I said before, these are just my opinions. What do you think?
I was recently tagged by Mary on her beautiful blog, Mary's Heart, to answer the following questions. Tough ones at that... I actually had to think. :)
1. Why do you blog?
I blog because I love to write. Share my thoughts. I want to help people, and mostly... I want to be used by God and share what He has taught me and what He has done in my life. (A work in progress...)
2. What traits should a church look for in a pastor?
Well, if I were choosing a pastor, I think I'd be looking for someone who is faithful and honest... someone who will teach the Word of God with no apologies and no watering down the truth... weather I like it or not. Someone who has a thankful and compassionate heart so he can show mercy and grace to others.
4. Do you think health food people are any healthier than other people?
No. I've known vegetarians who are sick often and I've known people who eat only 'organic' foods and take many vitamins who still get sick and have physical problems. I haven't really seen any difference. I believe all things in moderation.
5. Do you believe in the Rapture? If yes, do you think it will be soon?
Yes. I pray it will be soon. I keep thinking "How much worse can it get?" But I'm sure every generation before me thought the same thing. It's all in God's timing. We just need to 'watch and pray'.
6. Do you like to watch any TV preachers?
I don't watch any one on a regular basis, but I do enjoy hearing Charles Stanley and Chuck Swindoll (he's on the radio, does that count?). I think they are great Bible teachers. I also enjoy Joyce Meyer for her teaching Christians how to 'grow up' in the Lord. And I like Joel Osteen... although I believe his gift to be more of an encourager than a biblical teacher.
7. Do you go for yearly check-ups at the doctor and dentist?
No. Trying to get into the habit now that I'm getting older. I've always made sure to keep up with the kids appointments though.
8. Do you like to talk to friends on the telephone or would you rather write or e-mail?
I like to talk on the phone... it just seems that I'm always pressed for time. Get me on the phone and I'm likely to be on for an hour. (Love adult conversation!) But mostly it seems I just send a quick email or facebook message after the kids go to sleep.
Thanks Mary... this was a challenge! But a fun challenge! :)
Please visit Mary's blog... Mary's Heart. It's a beautiful blog that I'm sure you'll enjoy as she share her heart with you.
"Now more than ever before, the people are responsible for the character of their Congress. If that body be ignorant, reckless, and corrupt, it is because the people tolerate ignorance, recklessness and corruption. If it be intelligent, brave and pure, it is because the people demand these high qualities to represent them in the national legislature....If the next centennial does not find us a great nation...it will be because those who represent the enterprise, the culture, and the morality of the nation do not aid in controlling the political forces."
--President James Garfield, 1877
So much to say... but I'll leave it at that. Kind of speaks for itself.
I sometimes feel as if I'm living on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I'm up... some days I'm down. Some days I don't know where I'm headed or what direction I'm going. And then there are days that are just a little more 'ride' than I can handle. You know... the ones that make you sick!
Sick of life. Sick of work. Sick of people. Sick of doing. Sick of being...
I have days when I like everyone and everyone likes me... (or so I'd like to think.) And then those days when I wish I could be alone. Or maybe I just don't fit in. Or... maybe everyone else would like me to go away.
I have days when I feel like I do everything well. I feel confident. I can cook, clean, pay the bills, and get the kids to school on time. I think I look pretty good for my age. I feel good in a certain outfit.
Followed by days of feeling like I'm not good at anything at all. Like I'm a failure. I'm not a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend... or whatever hat I may be wearing at the time. Like I don't take care of myself the way I should. Nothing I wear fits or flatters me. I need to lose weight. Eat healthier. What am I teaching my kids?
Sometimes I feel like trying my best, being my best, and being a success.
And then the next moment... I think, "Why bother?"
There are days when I'm happy with exactly where I am in life and who I turned out to be. And then days filled with... 'if only's' and 'what if's' and 'why didn't I's'.
My thoughts... my feelings... my opinions about life. They may change every day, or every hour for that matter. They change with the circumstances or with the weather. I don't know how I will feel from one day to the next. But there is one thing I know for sure...
HE is my constant!
God will never change!
He is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY, and FOREVER!
God's Word tells me EXACTLY how He feels about me, what He thinks about me, and WHO HE SAYS I AM!
It just doesn't matter how I feel. It can NOT change the TRUTH of God's Word.
I doesn't matter what circumstances or challenges I may be facing... God still feels the same about me.
I can feel alone. I can feel far from God. But that won't change the truth that He will never leave me or forsake me.
Someone may not like me... but that doesn't make me less in God's eyes. He loves me the same.
I may feel that I can't do anything. And while I can't do everything, it won't change the truth that I can do ALL things through Christ. If He called me to it... He will see me through it!
You see... God loves me. God loves you. He sent His Son to die for our sins! How much more could He possibly do to show what we mean to Him? To show that He loves us. And yet so many of us doubt and wonder if He really does. How can this be?
It's because we're not spending time with God. Any relationship needs TIME and TOGETHERNESS or there is no relationship. (A post for another day...)
While God gave us 'feelings', our emotions should never be in control. They only serve as a guide. They can lead us in the wrong direction at any moment if we give in to them. We need to stick to the truth of the Bible! If our emotions don't line up with God's Word... don't follow them.
How do we know if our emotions line up with God's Word? Keep Christ at the center at all times! READ the Bible! Spend time in God's Word. Hide it in your heart.
You see... we can live a whole different life in our minds. Our perceptions can be distorted from reality. That's why God tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And the only way to do that is by the TRUTH of GOD's WORD.
My prayer is that we all would take time today to read God's word and spend time with Him. Let's not believe the lies our emotions tell us. Let's believe God instead.
I'm trying to learn how to make my blog what I want it to be. Only thing is... I'm not exactly sure what I want it to be. My ideas could change at any moment... depending on my mood.
I guess I'm having a hard time trying to determine what is the most important part of the blog.
Should I make it appealing to others? Or appealing to me? You know... I want to attract readers. But I also want to like it and be drawn to it myself so I'll come back and write.
I see so many other blogs that are just outstanding. Crafty, colorful, homemade, professional.... you name it... it's out there.
I wonder how I will ever draw anyone to my own blog...
I guess deep down, I want my blog to reflect ME. I'm not really a girly-girl. I'm not very crafty. And when it comes to color and embellishments... I guess I'm sort of a plain-Jane. I like warm earth tones. Dark colors. No... I'm not gothic. But I like calm. Simplicity.
I am trying to learn new things in the blogging world. I'm trying to change my blog name for one. I want to change my URL. And I'd love to have a logo.
I bought myself some books on how to use the software I own... Dreamweaver and Gimp. I figure the cost of the books are much cheaper than the price of school itself. And I've been trying to learn a little each day. You know... learning was much easier when I had someone to MAKE me do it! But I will persevere! I am determined!
So.... there may be a few changes to my blog in the coming weeks. Hopefully for the good. And I'm sure a few mistakes as well. I may even begin to like some of the artsy-crafty kind of things. Who knows? The more I learn to do myself... the more fun and challenging it becomes.
I know I don't post enough... but I'm working on that too. Sometimes it's hard to decide what to do... post or learn? It's a learning process. Some days I just get carried away reading all of the great blogs I follow and the new ones I come across. They're so interesting!
I will keep working on my own blog. It's become sort of a personal challenge for me. Can I do it? I hope you stick around long enough to find out!
Whatever I do... I will do it with all of my heart... unto the Lord!
