What are you made of? ...from eCare Diary

This following is an article from eCare Diary. They have a lot of great articles and information on being a caregiver. Even if you aren't... you may still find something interesting. I really love the story included in the article below... so I thought I'd share it with you. It's a great site. Check it out. Here is the article from eCare Diary...


What are you made of?
Jane Meier Hamilton - September 26, 2010 11:26 PM

The years when I filled both professional and family caregiver roles were difficult. Caring for my patients and my parents was a joy and a burden, deeply inspiring yet sometimes repetitiously boring, filling my heart and also draining my energy. I felt proud of what I could do, yet guilty about how negative I sometimes felt.

One time when I was at a low point, my sister, Wendy, sent me an email. It was one of those stories that circulate on the web, author unknown. Somehow, this anonymous little tale really spoke to me, as if Wendy had written it just for me. The story from the web is titled Carrots, Eggs or Coffee? It goes like this:

A young woman went to talk with her mother and share how hard her life was. She didn’t know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of struggling. It seemed as if when one problem was solved, a new one arose.

The girl’s mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water, and put them on the stove to boil. In the first, she placed carrots. In the second she placed eggs, and in the last pot, she placed ground coffee beans. The mother let them sit and boil without saying a word.

After twenty minutes, Mom turned off the burners. She fished out the carrots and placed them in a bowl, removed the eggs from the second pot, and poured the steaming, aromatic coffee into a large mug. Turning to her daughter, the mother asked, “What do you see?” “Carrots, eggs and coffee,” the young woman replied, wondering where this was going. The mother asked her daughter to feel the carrots, peel the egg, and sip a cup of coffee.

Finally revealing the meaning of this odd exercise, the mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same “adversity,” boiling water, but each had reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, firm, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile, with a thin outer shell protecting its fluid interior. Like the carrots, the egg was changed by the boiling water. Its soft interior became hardened. The mother pointed out that the coffee was unique; it alone had changed the water in which it had been boiled and turned it into something quite wonderful.

Then she asked her troubled daughter, “Which one are you? In the face of adversity will you wilt and go soft, like the carrot? Will your fluid spirit harden, or, like the coffee beans, will you release the potential within you and turn the boiling waters of your life into something you savor?”

We caregivers all need to answer the question, “What are you made of?” Faced with adversity, are we like the carrot, eggs or coffee? Will we have the energy, judgment and grace to persevere with caregiving? By centering ourselves, we can tap into the calm energy at our core and be like the coffee. Some ideas to help you stay centered:

• Remember that you are a human being, not a caregiving machine. You need to balance involvement in caregiving with times of rest and relaxation.

• Conserve your energy for caregiving by clarifying your priorities. Save your energy for what is important to you, not just what seems urgent or important to others.

• Simplify your life. Eliminate what is unimportant or overly complex so you can devote time and energy to your priorities.

• Let go of what you do not control. However hard you try, well you plan or carefully you communicate, you control very little of the caregiving situation. Accept the limits of your humanity. Do your best and let go of the rest.

Caring for others can be both a joy and a burden. It can fill your heart and drain the last drop of energy you have. Caring for yourself helps you continue to care for others.

Jane Meier Hamilton MSN, RN, a nurse for 35 years and family caregiver for 20 years, founded Partners on the Path www.partnersonthepath.org to help professional and family caregivers preserve their health, well-being and capacity to care. Read her book, Journey of a Lifetime: The Caregiver’s Guide to Self-Care (Infinity 2010) to learn sensible, effective ways to cope with your caregiver stress.



Thanks for reading and have a great day!
Mary Ann :)

HE is my constant!

I sometimes feel as if I'm living on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I'm up... some days I'm down. Some days I don't know where I'm headed or what direction I'm going. And then there are days that are just a little more 'ride' than I can handle. You know... the ones that make you sick!

Sick of life. Sick of work. Sick of people. Sick of doing. Sick of being...

I have days when I like everyone and everyone likes me... (or so I'd like to think.) And then those days when I wish I could be alone. Or maybe I just don't fit in. Or... maybe everyone else would like me to go away.

I have days when I feel like I do everything well. I feel confident. I can cook, clean, pay the bills, and get the kids to school on time. I think I look pretty good for my age. I feel good in a certain outfit.

Followed by days of feeling like I'm not good at anything at all. Like I'm a failure. I'm not a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend... or whatever hat I may be wearing at the time. Like I don't take care of myself the way I should. Nothing I wear fits or flatters me. I need to lose weight. Eat healthier. What am I teaching my kids?

Sometimes I feel like trying my best, being my best, and being a success.

And then the next moment... I think, "Why bother?"

There are days when I'm happy with exactly where I am in life and who I turned out to be. And then days filled with... 'if only's' and 'what if's' and 'why didn't I's'.

My thoughts... my feelings... my opinions about life. They may change every day, or every hour for that matter. They change with the circumstances or with the weather. I don't know how I will feel from one day to the next. But there is one thing I know for sure...

                   HE is my constant!

                                            God will never change!

He is the same YESTERDAY,
                                                       TODAY,
                                                                 and FOREVER!

God's Word tells me EXACTLY how He feels about me, what He thinks about me, and WHO HE SAYS I AM!

It just doesn't matter how I feel. It can NOT change the TRUTH of God's Word.

I doesn't matter what circumstances or challenges I may be facing... God still feels the same about me.

I can feel alone. I can feel far from God. But that won't change the truth that He will never leave me or forsake me. 

Someone may not like me... but that doesn't make me less in God's eyes. He loves me the same.

I may feel that I can't do anything. And while I can't do everything, it won't change the truth that I can do ALL things through Christ.  If He called me to it... He will see me through it!

You see... God loves me. God loves you. He sent His Son to die for our sins! How much more could He possibly do to show what we mean to Him? To show that He loves us. And yet so many of us doubt and wonder if He really does. How can this be?

It's because we're not spending time with God. Any relationship needs TIME and TOGETHERNESS or there is no relationship. (A post for another day...)

While God gave us 'feelings', our emotions should never be in control. They only serve as a guide. They can lead us in the wrong direction at any moment if we give in to them. We need to stick to the truth of the Bible! If our emotions don't line up with God's Word... don't follow them.

How do we know if our emotions line up with God's Word? Keep Christ at the center at all times! READ the Bible! Spend time in God's Word. Hide it in your heart.

You see... we can live a whole different life in our minds. Our perceptions can be distorted from reality. That's why God tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And the only way to do that is by the TRUTH of GOD's WORD.

My prayer is that we all would take time today to read God's word and spend time with Him. Let's not believe the lies our emotions tell us. Let's believe God instead.

Thanks for reading and God bless!
Mary Ann :)

A Blog Re-Do

I'm trying to learn how to make my blog what I want it to be. Only thing is... I'm not exactly sure what I want it to be. My ideas could change at any moment... depending on my mood.

I guess I'm having a hard time trying to determine what is the most important part of the blog.

Should I make it appealing to others? Or appealing to me? You know... I want to attract readers. But I also want to like it and be drawn to it myself so I'll come back and write.

I see so many other blogs that are just outstanding. Crafty, colorful, homemade, professional.... you name it... it's out there.

I wonder how I will ever draw anyone to my own blog...

I guess deep down, I want my blog to reflect ME. I'm not really a girly-girl. I'm not very crafty. And when it comes to color and embellishments... I guess I'm sort of a plain-Jane. I like warm earth tones. Dark colors. No... I'm not gothic. But I like calm. Simplicity.

I am trying to learn new things in the blogging world. I'm trying to change my blog name for one. I want to change my URL. And I'd love to have a logo.

I bought myself some books on how to use the software I own... Dreamweaver and Gimp. I figure the cost of the books are much cheaper than the price of school itself. And I've been trying to learn a little each day. You know... learning was much easier when I had someone to MAKE me do it! But I will persevere! I am determined!

So.... there may be a few changes to my blog in the coming weeks. Hopefully for the good. And I'm sure a few mistakes as well. I may even begin to like some of the artsy-crafty kind of things. Who knows? The more I learn to do myself... the more fun and challenging it becomes.

I know I don't post enough... but I'm working on that too. Sometimes it's hard to decide what to do... post or learn? It's a learning process. Some days I just get carried away reading all of the great blogs I follow and the new ones I come across. They're so interesting!

I will keep working on my own blog. It's become sort of a personal challenge for me.  Can I do it? I hope you stick around long enough to find out!

Whatever I do... I will do it with all of my heart... unto the Lord!

Thanks for reading and God bless!
Mary Ann :)